Monday, April 2, 2012

Euaggelion


I stand next to my Bible study leader, clutching a stack of glossy fliers, smiling one of those smiles that’s all teeth and no brain.

We hover a moment over the frat boy working on his laptop in the Student Union. The Bible study leader begins her spiel: “We just want to invite you …” And I dutifully hand over the flier.

We’re spreading the word about the movie “The Passion of the Christ.” Spreading the Word. Evangelizing, because that’s what good evangelical Christians do.

I am excited. Aren't I? I’ve been in this big campus Christian group since I started college, and this is the first time I’ve ever been asked to do anything other than show up to meetings.

Part of me feels hopeful as I hand out the fliers – maybe this is my step toward the magical inner circle, the group of clean-cut cool kids who are “on fire for Christ” and are so good. Isn’t that what I want? And isn’t this what I have to do to get there?

But most of me feels awful. I’m never going to watch “Passion of the Christ.” The whole deal makes me uncomfortable – the staggering stylized violence, Mel Gibson’s vicious anti-Semitic remarks, this idea that getting people to watch a movie is somehow miraculously going to “turn our nation to God” or “start a revival” or whatever the catchphrase is.

This idea that a completely fake college freshman and her Bible study leader handing out fliers is going to show anyone any sort of love, or hope, or anything.


Because I know what’s in my mind and heart, and it’s not the minds and hearts of the kids whose studying we’re interrupting.

So I turn down the next chance to go hand out fliers. And I turn down the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Japan for the summer, even when the Bible study leader frowns and says my other plans just won’t measure up.

I never get in that inner circle, or even close. And I quit the Bible study altogether when one of my friends is kicked out for asking too many questions and when the Bible study leader sets up a special meeting under the guise of spending quality time with me that turns out to be an opportunity to harangue me about whether my boyfriend and I have been “doing anything.”

(I marry the boyfriend. I graduate from college. I have two children. Et cetera.)

Eight years later, I’m driving to the movies with some friends and one makes a derogatory remark about evangelical Christians.

“Hey,” I say, “I’m an evangelical Christian. Don’t generalize.”

And I realize this is the first time in years I have called myself this. Evangelical.

Am I?

Because I don’t hand out fliers or tracts. I don’t tell the people next to me on the bus about Jesus. I don’t give out Hugs for Jesus. I don’t pick days to go out and “start conversations” with  people like the kids in that Christian group used to do. I don't really wear my Christianity on my sleeve.

And isn’t that evangelism?

Then, just a couple weeks ago in church, our pastor notes the Greek for gospel: euanggelion. 

Good tidings.

“Evangelical” isn’t describing an act. It’s describing a belief – that the story of Jesus is a good one.

I realize it’s all about the story.

I don’t want to disparage those who hand out tracts or do the random-person-on-the-street style of telling the Jesus story. It works for some people, both in giving and receiving.

But it’s never worked for me, and it’s never going to, and – I feel ridiculous saying it’s taken this long but it’s the truth – I finally realize that’s completely OK.

Because I can tell a story by being a friend. By being a neighbor. By loving and serving. By doing the same old things I do every day with a greater awareness of why I do them. By breathing. By writing a goofy blog.

I can do it subtly, or quietly, and without pressure, and without guilt, and with gentleness, and with respect. I can do it with a smile that involves my teeth and my brain (and my heart and my spirit).

I will fail completely at it at times, but I’ll do it with honesty.

I’m writing this because it’s almost Easter and I want to say – yeah, the story of Jesus is a good one.

I didn’t think I knew how to say that. But I hope I’ve been saying it all along. 

6 comments:

  1. I think we have been raised in a culture so inundated with advertisements, and so aware of advertisements and somewhat literate in advertising, that handing out fliers and things of that nature are not going to reach most people. We're tired of people trying to sell us things, whether it's a product, a political stance, or a religion. And it's so hard to come off as sincere when evangelizing.

    Being a friend, a neighbor, loving and serving, is so much powerful. I think that's what people will be receptive to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree. Everyone's either numb to advertising or irritated by it. So why reduce deeper things to advertisements?

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  2. I am so glad that you found words to write this. I understand, and I agree wholeheartedly! I want to talk to you more about this; let's make a date!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You truly are the best kind of Christian; you're genuine and positive and respectful. I admire that an awful lot.

    ReplyDelete

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